Living with Momma by Elizabeth B. Adams

Author:Elizabeth B. Adams [Elizabeth B. Adams]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Morgan James Publishing
Published: 2019-10-15T00:00:00+00:00

Valuing Patience

Our caregiver selves can value the patience as necessary for replacing frustrations and fears that naturally creep up on us as we worry about our parents’ safety in their independence. Fear is one of the first emotions to be challenged when welcoming the fruit that comes in the form of patience. I don’t know about you, but one of the only things that scared me as much as seeing my two-year-old teetering at the top of rickety-rusty slide (she had somehow scrambled up without me seeing her) was seeing my father, more than seventy years old, on top of a rickety-ladder trying to paint a window ledge, because he “had never paid anybody to paint his house and he wasn’t going to start now.” What do we do when we see our parents making poor choices? If we let fear take over and we scream, “Get down from there” they could fall. So, we have to be patient, and consciously calm, and still get them safely down. Getting them to come down safely needs to happen immediately. We need to help them without being over excited or angry (anger is usually just a reaction to fear) if we want the best results for their safety, right?

The Hebrew concept of patience is found all over Judeo-Christian scriptures. One of the oldest being a sense of forbearance, or yielding when offended and being (very) slow to anger. I love the Hebrew idiom of patience; that being a picture of the “slow venting of air through the nostrils.” This characteristic of being slow to anger and blowing air out of my nose implies someone who is not easily offended or fearfully driven by actions of others.

Although most people today consider patience to be passive waiting, or gentle tolerance, the Greek words for patience are actually very active, robust words. So while patience is an action: to wait, it is also just as importantly to hope for and to continue to have faith in a higher purpose, like those found woven throughout the books of Ecclesiastes.

This then brings us to our larger view and broader definition of Valuing Patience—which will allow us to enjoy LIVING a good life—Valuing Patience is having a high opinion or respecting someone by yielding to the benefits of hope despite their actions. This new concept of patience is important in our lives in the sandwich generation. When we can open our caregiver self to feast on the fruit of patience, as a practical truth, we can get our children and our parents off of the rickety spaces (that could be harmful) with confidence in both themselves and ourselves.

Patience can help renew our steadfast spirits so we can act lovingly towards the people we love. We can then also be willing to see the natural and normal stages of aging with empathy as a good first step toward patience. Empathy is when we can put ourselves in another person’s shoes, or to imagine experiencing what others are experiencing. It

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